it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
