there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
