I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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