we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
