Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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