you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
