I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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