So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think your dad took our porno
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize