My sheets look like a crime scene.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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