I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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