who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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