There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
