I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
