i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
