What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
