She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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