Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
this is an emotional support booty call
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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