so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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