am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
