i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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