im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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