I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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