You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize