My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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