My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
