Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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