I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
