Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
