Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
