Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
