The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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