you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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