Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
