Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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