You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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