She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
