Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
