I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
