nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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