all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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