Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
