The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
