In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
