haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
