I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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