my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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