of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize