omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
