he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
