Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We just shotgunned beers for America
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
