I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize