My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
