Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
