In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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