you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
