Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
