I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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