I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
