kristin has been a bad kristin
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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