You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize