Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
