I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
