They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
