Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dignity is for republicans.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize