i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Houston, we have a blender
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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