Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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