people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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