Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
