It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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