I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
