I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
