he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
