Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize