can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've blown a few things in my day
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
