I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
