You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize