**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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