Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
