look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
